The Farting Cow

COW FARTS IS A REFERENCE TO THE METHANE GAS produced by 1.6 billion cows, which constitutes anywhere from 10% to 20% of the greenhouse gases that are bringing on global warming.

At the upper end figure, this is more damage than caused by all human transportation – including autos.


Meanwhile, expansion of ranch land annually devastates vast stretches of oxygen-supplying, air-cleaning forest; and overgrazing has turned a fifth of all former pastures and ranges into desert. Then it takes 1000 quarts of good water to produce a quart of milk– during which production there is a huge amount of damage to clean water streams, rivers, complete watersheds and large patches of ocean.

Naturalists have also shown that the collateral damage to other species is extensive. Oh, and methane itself, for which livestock is responsible for one-third of all emissions, warms the world 20 times faster than carbon dioxide. This then helps cause huge ice fields in northern climes to melt, freeing up vast amounts more of otherwise trapped methane to foment even more atmosphere warming (while lowering the oxygen rate). This happens even as the fossil fuels needed to run the livestock industry account for 5% to 9% of that other global warmer, carbon dioxide.

Pretty absurd, you might say, that the planet, many other species and our water supplies and forests, etc, etc, pay such a tremendous price for our fast-food burgers and luxury steaks, much less the price paid at the slaughterhouses by these cow beings. Yep, and crazy absurd that we ourselves may collectively be on the way to paying some ultimate prices.

Must be a pretty laughably absurd species that would wreak such crazy havoc, some would say. Same species that tends to go to war and kill, or to torture other members, over resources and religion and all sorts of positioning for power and for who’s “right” rather than share the goodies of the earth and of life itself.

Same species that’s reading this.

Same species that consumes so much meat that high cholesterol levels and way higher rates of coronary disease are evident in every populace that eats lots of beef. So too are higher rates of bone rotting, otherwise known as osteoporosis, because lots of meat over-amps the body with proteins it can’t handle and which destroy calcium in the system. Not cool either are the higher rates of colon, pancreas, breast and prostate cancer among meat eaters. Then there are all the antibiotics and hormones the cows are fed which, when digested in humans, over time weaken the intestinal tract lining, leading to large increases in colon and stomach diseases and disorders as well as more frequent bouts of flu.

“The beef industry has contributed to more American deaths than all the wars of this century, all the natural disasters, and all the automobile accidents combined,” Dr. Neal Barnard, then President of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, pronounced a few years ago.

Basically, if you think about it, this all adds up to the genius level idea that if you are going to help kill the planet with your meat eating, might as well cut your own life short and see who lives longer -  you or the planet.

Ergo: The Farting Cow is a metaphor for human absurdities AND AT THE SAME TIME it is a major call to have more fun and sanity in the world by stepping up from our sheer collective nuttiness and into a very different world that the very sane and intelligent side of humanity is already on the way to creating.

The Farting Cow column like this website is all about that contrast. It is our intention to magnify many of the Cow Fart Absurdities of the species and set them against hope-encouraging examples of sanity and human creativity.

Cow Fart Definition: A self-destructive human behavior of such magnitude that it rises to the highest level of species absurdity; a human act that when examined is clearly self-immolatingly ridiculous and insane.

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